Majida: Hi girls!  I am really glad you all came. Oh I terribly missed you all (crying in joy).

All: Oooh we missed too! 

Flormesa: O.K. this is enough now; I am honestly starving, so can we eat now! (Smiling) 

All: O.K. girls let us eat now.

Ruth: Majida, are you sure you want to get married now?

Majida: yes, of course.

Carolina: seriously Majida, are you really ready to settle down?

Majida: what do you mean by that?

Carolina: O.K. you are still young and still have time to think about it; think about the consequences and the things you need to give up before getting married.

Majda: Like what?

Carolina: your career and your night life

Aynur: yeah she is right and you still have lots of time to fulfill all your goals in life and whatever you want. You don’t need to rush; I guess it is better to know each other more first.

Carolina: Why not try to live together before getting married?

Aynur: Yes, I agree with Carolina and Ruth; believe me girls; it really helps a lot to know your future life partner very well; it is a stepping stone to have a good relation with your partner now before getting married.

Majida: No, I disagree with you girls. I don’t think that I need to live with my future husband before getting married. This is wrong in our culture; my parents would not agree at all. Plus, I know my fiancée very well; I already spent enough time with him to know him well. You know girls, to make marriage successful both have to give up certain things. I am happy that I am getting married. I have been waiting for this all my life and I am sure all girls also wait for this day.

Pinky: Oh yeah I got your point Majida.

All: Oh really

Pinky: Yeah, cohabitation is only temporary, but in marriage the relationship lasts forever; it all depends upon how you handle it. 

Aynur: But Pinky how do you know that? Did you have any experience before? 

Pinky: No, but I don’t like experiences; based on what I heard from my girlfriends about their experiences with cohabitation, I know that they suffered a lot.

Flormesa: But how is that? 

Pinky: my girlfriends told me that once guys get what they want, they leave you. That means they didn’t really love you; they just needed something from you. There is no serious commitment in cohabitation. You can not do anything; if he decides to go, then he will go. Simple.

Aynur: You know what! This is definitely not true. It depends on how the two handle the relationship, and based on my experience, I know that cohabitation helped us to build a relationship better than I expected.

Majida: Can you tell me a little bit about your experience in living with your partner before getting married. You mentioned to me before that you did not really want to get married and that you married only because you got pregnant. Can you tell us about this too?

Aynur: my boyfriend and I decided to live together first for about three years before we decided to get married. At that time, we already had an idea about our attitude. Sometimes, we argued; and it took a week to bring things back to normal. Routine again. But, now that we are married and sometimes we have an argument; it takes only an hour to solve it because we already have an idea on how to confront the situation. But, let me tell also that I enjoyed my experience of living with my husband before getting married. I was happy with him; we both we very sensitive, romantic, clean; he cooked for me for example; after marriage, especially after my son was born he changed. He began to think that marriage means that wife only has to cook and take care of children. Now, this marriage looks like a business contract; I do not remember when I signed; I just signed because I had to get married.

Majida: that surprises me a lot Aynur Usually Muslims do not live together without getting married. But, you just did that. Can you tell how you felt about that?

Aynur: it was O.K. for me since my parents are open minded and since I live in the United States.

Majida: but Aynur, I know that in Turkey people do not generally like cohabitation and I heard many stories about families punishing their daughters for living with boyfriends. I just read last week about a family in Turkey that killed their daughter after she got pregnant before getting married.

Ruth: Can I ask you girls? What makes marriage superior to cohabitation? The paper? The signature? I don’t think so!

Majida: as you know cohabitation is casual. Marriage is not only a paper; right Ruth. It is a commitment between two individuals who love one another. Marriage has value and that is why people sign contract for that. Marriage, Ruth, involves an understanding that there will be a family and there will children and that the parents are responsible for this family. Cohabitation and I think Menhas, agrees with me, does not lead to children and family. Cohabitation is simple a relation between two individual without long term commitments.

Menhas: yeah girls, Majida is right. Can you ask you this Ruth? You look anxious today and you told us that you had problems with your boyfriend? Tell us the truth? Do you really want to marry your boyfriend? Or you just want to live like that with him?

Ruth: of course I like to marry him but I find it difficult to talk to him about this subject and that is why I feel nervous. Maybe that is why I accept cohabitation.

Majida: you know darling you should find out if he truly loves you. You should not waste your time cohabitating with him without knowing what the future of this relation would be.

Ruth: O.K. girls please can you give me your advice? What do you think I should do?

Majida: I suggest that you give him two options. Either marry you or leave you!

Menhas: I think you should talk to him about marriage, about where this relationship is going. Right Ruth. 

Ruth: But, I am afraid of this. I am worried that he would leave me.

Majida: Look Ruth, you suffer now because of that. You have to be decisive. You have to know what you want in life and what your future would be.

Menhas: Don’t forget, Ruth, that you would be the loser if you keep this relation going like that. One day he will simply tell you : Bye! You will be a victim. Look around and just think how many girls are having depression because they boyfriends wasted their lives.

Ruth: O.K. girls, I think you are right about the advice. I will try to do that.

Flormesa: O.K as I have heard some of your experiences and opinions about cohabitation I would say I am not against nor in favor of this. I do believe that there are some negative and positive effects of cohabitation on our lives. Negative in terms of not being sure about the future of the relationship, if it will last forever as you expected or not. Positive effects in terms of having a lot of time in order to get to know each other first. This would help both to adjust and get used to one another and to find out if you are compatible. O.K pretty girls, let me remind you that we are here to have fun and to celebrate Majida’s bridal shower and not to have a debate. So, let us party.  

All: yeah, let us dance and enjoy our time

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My name is Aynur. I come from Turkey. My native language is Turkish. I am married and I have one son, whose name is Berkan. I finished the university in my country with a major in Public Administration. Then, I switched to child development and now I’d like to study occupational therapy. In my free time I like to spend time with my family, especially my son. We go together to museums, the zoo and he likes to go to Manhattan and walk on Broadway, Times Square. He loves to be around a lot of people. Sometimes, I help my husband in our store. We sell cellular phones and videos. And also he repairs computers. I love my family. I also like to meet new people.

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" First time I saw the world,
I felt lucky that God gave me this life,
The life that I would cherish my all my life "

Hi, to everyone. My name is Gurtej. Usually my parents and my friends call me Pinky. That is my nick name. I have been here for one year. I am born and raised in India. I went high school there. I came here in 2003.My zodiac sign is Leo and my favorite colors are pink, yellow and red. I like funny movies and I love music especially Punjabi. That ' s my country music. I hate gossips and I don ' t like irritating and annoying people. I think I have introduced myself to you. Now I hope that you will know me better.

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Trust and respect me even though I am different from you
I have feelings and needs just like you
Appreciate me for who I am
Because I am the only Flormesa that exists here in the land 

Hello to everyone out there! My name is Flormesa. You can call me Aiza for short. Well, this is my first semester here in La Guardia and my major is nursing. About myself? Well, I would say... I am simple type of person with a weird personality. Sometimes I am very moody depends upon the person I am with. I sometimes spent my time in reading books especially those that challenges my mind and understanding. I also spent my time in listening to music especially Clay Aiken's songs. I honestly don't know all of his songs, but he is still my idol ever. I also love playing volleyball. Actually, this is my favorite sports since I was in my elementary grade. Writing poems is also one of my habits. This is one way for me to express my real  feelings. Well, this is the real me!

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