Lori Handley
Fall 2001
The AIDS Crisis in the Lives of Two Women
Traci and I have been friends for quite some time, I’m
not even certain the number of years we have known each other. She comes from a rather large family; she
has four sisters and two brothers. They
are extremely close, perhaps the best of friends, and the type of people who
would give you their last dollar if you really needed it. They spend every holiday together and always
give big parties for everybody’s birthday.
As Traci’s friend you are treated as part of the family. From attending many of their gatherings I
had the opportunity to meet all of her siblings. I remember when I met her sister Patricia she was a few months
pregnant. She was the same age as me,
so I guess at the time I met her we were both about to turn twenty-one. Patricia was gleaming with happiness. She couldn’t wait to give birth to her baby
and she was fortunate to have a boyfriend who was both supportive and as happy
as her. It was a picture perfect moment
in her life; little did we know it would be a life short lived. On September 20, 2000 we sadly lost Patricia
to the AIDS epidemic. Here is her
story.
Patricia
Ann Parsley
Born: July 29, 1976
Died: September 20, 2000
Patricia gave birth to her son, Ismael Jr., on
August 6, 1997. He was a healthy baby
weighing 7 pounds and 6 ounces. The
whole family was excited and he was absolutely precious. Unfortunately, Patricia had to stay in the
hospital for about 3 or 4 weeks after giving birth. Apparently she had pneumonia.
She told everybody that it was no big deal and she was suffering from a
minor infection from giving birth.
After she was released from the hospital she was fine. She spent every available moment cuddling
and caring for her son. The baby brought
her so much joy and we were all very happy for her. Traci lived right upstairs so whenever anybody went to visit
Traci, they would stop to see the baby.
It was a good living situation because if Patricia needed any extra help
around the house, Traci was there.
Things were going extremely well for
Patricia; she loved being a mother.
Then about the time when Ismael was 6 months old Patricia got really
sick. She claimed that she had the
flu. She had all of the symptoms,
fatigue, fever, diarrhea, etc, but Traci seemed really concerned. She said Patricia was sick for a good two
weeks and had a chronic cough that Traci could hear late at night. A few days after Traci voiced her concerns,
Patricia was feeling better.
Two months before Ismael’s first
birthday, Patricia was sick once again.
She had a fever and her diarrhea was so bad that she couldn’t leave the
house. This time, she claimed that she
had a stomach virus and the doctor told her to rest and it would pass through
her system on it’s own. Traci was
really concerned at this point because her sister was always getting sick. I advised Traci that she needed to confront
her because we all felt that something was not quite right. Aside from being sick, her relationship with
the baby’s father was slowly falling apart.
Everybody sensed something was wrong, but nobody had a clue to what we
would soon learn.
Finally, Patricia told her family she
was HIV positive. She found out while
getting blood work done during the early stages of her pregnancy. She reassured her family that the baby was
okay and healthy because she was taking AZT pills during her pregnancy. These pills prevent the passage of the virus
from the mother to the unborn child.
She went on to explain that she was always sick from the cocktail
medications she was taking prescribed by the doctor. She also explained that her and the baby’s father were having
problems because he too tested positive for HIV. They were always fighting over whom to blame for this as if the
bickering would solve anything. As for
the fact that she hid this from her family, she explained that she felt dirty
and ashamed. She was fearful that they
would reject her and treat her differently.
Of course they were devastated but they gave her as much love and
support that was possible.
In July 2000, Patricia got pneumonia
once again. Her son’s birthday was
coming up and she didn’t want to miss it, so she refused to go to the
hospital. Her health got so bad that
she needed a home help aid to assist her.
Fortunately, the city sponsors programs to help HIV patients, and this
was paid for through the program.
Shortly after, Patricia was hospitalized and put on a respirator. One month later, on September 20, 2000 her
heart stopped beating and she died.
Although Patricia suffered many
hardships fighting this deadly disease, she was blessed to have the support of
her family and friends during such a trying time in her life. In the nation of Africa, one in ten adults
are now infected with the HIV virus (Mendel).
They lack the necessary resources to fight the disease as well as the
emotional support to have some degree of stability. Here is the story of one young woman living with AIDS in Africa.
Althea was born December 3, 1971. Just reaching the age of thirty, she has a
daughter Diane, age four. She recalls
how growing up in Africa her family was extremely poor, most of the nation
is. By the age of sixteen she realized
a painful reality, she was living in a male dominated society. Men would choose to have sex with whomever
they desired and refusal by a woman would result in physical punishment
(Marash). Althea painfully recalls the
number of promiscuous men she had sex with and she describes how helpless she
felt during this time in her life. At
the age of twenty-six, she found out she was pregnant. Little did she know her struggle through
life was about to get worse.
It was at this time she found out she
was HIV positive. She didn’t know how
to react. There were many women in her
predicament because of the sexual conduct of men in society, but at the same
time, she couldn’t believe this was happening to her. Once again, Althea experienced helplessness in her battered
life. She could not afford AZT pills to
prevent the passage of the virus to her child and as a result Diane was born
HIV positive.
She lived with her family for a short
time after she gave birth but eventually they told her she had to leave. They never knew of her or Diane’s HIV status
but when Althea developed shingles, she told them her ordeal. Unfortunately, they didn’t embrace her or
tell her they would be there...they said they wanted her to leave because she
was dirty and they were ashamed. Althea
recalls how painful it was to hear those words but once again she had no other
choice. There was no talking to them or
trying to change their minds.
She now lives with Diane in a tiny shack
and says she feels like she is slowly awaiting death. She gets ill frequently and struggles with caring for herself and
a child who is also sick. She worries
what will happen to Diane when she dies and what kind of life her daughter is
capable of having being HIV positive.
Sadly, there are a massive number of
people in Africa dying everyday from Aids.
When are we going to reach out and help a nation with a serious, deadly
problem? Because we are a wealthy
nation our government has the funds to help those with this deadly virus. The city alone offers programs that help pay
for food, medication, counseling and in some instances, even pay the rent. Should we turn our back on a nation in
desperate need of help? Or should we
act oblivious to the fact that millions of children in Africa are orphaned
because of the AIDS epidemic there? The
United Nations as well as other rich countries need to come together and
encourage drug companies to lower the costs on cocktail medication (Marash). The prices are much too high for a person
living in a nation with a $510 income per year (McGeary). An improved education system as well as
educational programs dealing with AIDS would benefit this nation greatly. Awareness of how serious and deadly this
epidemic is could perhaps minimize promiscuity and encourage practicing safe
sex. Hopefully, it could also help
families deal with the epidemic and instead of turning their back on a loved
one they could stand behind them and give their support. This would not be an easy task and it
certainly would not happen over night but it cannot be humanely possible to
ignore the problem at hand. If we did,
it is almost as if the disease is not killing them, we are.